Breath. Just Breath.

Ugh. Sorry to be blue this Monday morning but I can feel the stress building in me. Have felt it building over the past few days. Not because of the Holiday Season (or, if I'm being honest, not directly because of it) but rather because of a culmination of a few things going on.

I sense another panic attack coming on and it's moments like these where I have to remind myself to breath.

Just breath.

Deep breaths. 

Think positive thoughts.

Gosh, I sound like a mental case.

It doesn't help that when I try to research it on the 'net I'm faced with terms like this and this. Geez. I should just go see a doctor, or according to my research a 'therapist'...or should I? Wow. You all must be thinking "Waaaaaaaaaay to much information! I come here for design-y fun things. Not this heavy bulls*#%" but hey - this blog serves as an outlet for me. And well....I wanted to get this out. I'm not all design all the time you know! Lol. Actually, some of my favourite bloggers are the ones who, on occasion, reveal a bit about their personal life. I don't mean major details or necessarily "problems" but I mean...stuff that makes you think "Hey, there's an actual person on the other end who is REAL..." Whether it's a glimpse into their weekend, something they recently experienced (good or bad), a deep thought they are having...I dunno. That makes me "like" them even more. It's funny because the handful of celebs I really like - I like to keep them "larger than life" - meaning, I don't follow them on twitter (if they even have one) or care to read about their personal lives or see photos of them doing 'regular' things. But bloggers I like? I like to know they're 'real.' Go figure.

Anywho, now I'm rambling. I'll be back later in the week with a much more upbeat post.


Stunningly beautiful artwork by the talented Stella Im Hultberg. I hope to have one or two...or a few of her pieces in the future.


Hasina said...

Hi Kay! To quote Pink Martini, Hang On Little Tomato ;)

(I'd never heard of Stella Im Hultberg, but I'm a fan now. So gorgeous!)

My @ tha Hotness said...

I sooo love Stella's work. I blog her all the time.

Yes, breathe. It's okay to be open and honest. You are a real person with real feelings and a real life behind this blog. I shared mine here a while back on my blog

thatShortchick said...

I know that 'blue' feeling all too well, especially this year in trying to find a new job and just feeling lonely.

My panic attacks often come at night when everything's dark & quiet and it literally feels like I can't catch my breath. I just try to calm myself down and chant (something positive) to myself until I fall asleep. Thankfully, I always feel better the next day and see things in a different light.

but it is still day by day.

hang in there.

you can always email me: thatshortchickblogs[at]gmail[dot]com and we'll talk.

Katelin said...

you can do it and it will be okay. just breathe in and out and count to ten then if you need to just scream into a pillow or something, always helps me.

Hopeless Chest said...

I suffered from panic attacks on a pretty regular basis for about a year and a half. It's tough, and there's not much to help, and few people that understand what you're going though.

For me it was a lot of overwhelming things happening at once.

I hope you can take a breather and get through it! You're not alone. :D

Mandy said...

I love it when people are real on ther blogs. You can get through everything you have on your plate. I know you can. I'm pulling for you!

Anonymous said...

your honesty is appreciated. i pray that your hurt is healed.

Lauren said...

hang in there Kay!!! Just take it easy & exhale. I hope you're doing okay...

Just think of the solutions instead of the problems... I know easier said than done but sometimes it helps me to think of what I can actually DO to make things better istead of getting worries/ upset about them.

We're all pulling for you & here's a huge hug your way.

WeddingsnPretty said...

Creativity comes from darker places as well as light. Hence, your post - though melancholy - is also really inspiring...such lovely images. As for your mood - your readers (myself included) totally welcome your candor and appreciate it. Turn that frown upside down! ;~)

ceecee said...

Lauren said it best and if you're spiritual I'd add to pray! Phillipians 4:6 says: be anxious for nothing but with prayer and supplication make your requests known unto God.
Sometimes just speaking it out loud relieves the anxiety.

Riviera Boardwalk said...

I am battling lung cancer but cancer does not own me. I have been a basket case all my life. I am a mental case and take meds for it and they help me breathe. I love the pics. I am sorry about your panic attacks. All is not lost. You are going to be ok. Just take lots of deep breaths. I can't figure out how to continue receiving your posts when you decide to resume the decorating ones. I signed up as a follower but that is not enough. Oh, well.

Gypsy Heart said...

I'm sorry you're feeling yucky ~ but try to really b r e a t h e...deeply and exhale slowly. Do this often. How about bubble baths with a cup of hot tea? Meditating...writing it all down in a journal...taking a long walk...going out to lunch.

We're all here to support you!

Sue @ SimonsSistaSaw said...

If it helps, you made my day with those pics - they are just stunning. I'm sending thoughts and wishes to you to hope you feel yourself again soon and the panics subsides.

Music usually helps me - I listen to all melancholy stuff then slowing pick it up with stronger beats. I don't know if that works for you but here is a link to one of the most beautiful melancholy songs. Even when it doesn't pertain to anyone, it is just hauntingly beautiful. Anyway,it's Somersault by Decoder Ring (from 2004) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4_z7rQFFqI

nancy said...

I know exactly how you feel. I suffer from panic disorder. It's not a "blue" feeling, as much as it is a "fight or flight" feeling. You're right, you can't understand it, if you haven't personally suffered from it. Dagnabit, it I didn't pass it on to my 3 sons, who have it in different degrees!! But I'm so glad I have it, because they know they always have someone to talk to who understands. I had my mom. Now I have them and they have me! It has truly been a blessing, sort of. I'll be checking on you! Find what works best for you. Lots of hugs!!

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