More Change: I'm on a Roll (or, I Am Not My Hair)

Making the decision to accept the placement offer in India wasn't the only decision I made on Wednesday*.

I also decided, really in the matter of a few hours, to cut my hair short and perm it.

That might not sound like a big deal but believe me people, it is. Especially for someone like me who takes forEVER to make a decision. Who likes to think everything over (like I explained here) to make the decision to do it and then go through with it all within about 2 hours was MAJOR.

Basically, for the past TEN YEARS I've had natural hair. Long before it became "cool" to go natural**. (See footnotes at the end of this post.) Basically, there's a HUGE trend of going natural. It can be quite a heated topic/debate - natural vs relaxed. It's actually quite silly to me but, whatever. Anywho, because I flat iron my hair about 80% of the time. And my hair stylist is going back to Miami indefinitely on Saturday. And I've wanted to cut my hair into a short style forEVER*** And, in the words of India Arie, I am not my hair. And.........I just needed a change. So I decided to just go for it. (It's funny, when I quickly called my sister to tell her what I was thinking of doing she said something along the lines of..."You want a change, eh? And that's something you control - your hair. Is that why you're doing it?" I hadn't thought of it like that. Like my hair being something, at a time when it seems like so many other decisions are out of my control, that I can control. My sister is one smart cookie. Call her Mrs. Dr. Phil lol.)

Anyways, let me tell you - change & reinvention is good people :)

I really hate taking photos of myself so these will have to do lol. I still can't believe I'm posting them but - whatevs. I'm makeup free so be nice;) My hair is basically unstyled here and I still love it.

Readers...friends...let me say, for the record, I absolutely love it and am happy with my decision to not only cut it but to also return to the "creamy crack" (as hair perms/relaxers are sometimes referred to lol). I was somewhat nervous that the style wouldn't fit my face (cause of my round cheeks) but surprisingly I think it does. I left the top longer so I have options and can do different things. I'm already thinking I might go shorter in the back and on the sides...

For me, this cut and decision was....freeing. I feel spunkier. And lighter. And...just good.

So yeah, change is good people.

Embrace change :)

What decision or change have YOU made, big or small, lately?
& how do you feel about it?
(ladies if you're thinking of making a change to your appearance, especially your hair and are hesitant PLEASE just listen to this. Doesn't matter if you're black, white, yellow, brown...)

Footnotes :)
*I'm still waiting on final confirmation of my offer. I'll definitely let you all know the outcome. Thank you SO MUCH for ALL of your comments, words of congrats, and just...your enthusiasm on my previous post. Seriously, you don't know how much it touched me to read them all. You all are simply amazing.

**Quick lesson for those of you unfamiliar with African-American hair -  this paragraphs is for you :) Making the decision to perm my hair was MAJOR. Basically, when a black person says they perm (or relax) their hair that means they chemically straighten it. A black persons hair is not naturally straight. It has a natural curl (or kinks whatever you call them). Like an afro texture (depending on the hair type it can be really tight curls or losse curls). Here are some examples of natural hair onetwothree. In order to straighten natural hair you have some options. You can blow dry and flat iron it OR you can perm it. If you blow dry and flat iron - which is what I've been doing for years it's only straight temporarily. Any moisture on natural hair that has been flat ironed straight will revert back to it's natural curl pattern when it gets wet...or if you go the gym and sweat a lot, or if it's humid outside...So, I could flat iron my hair to wear it straight but if it got too humid or rained - it'd get poufy and go back to it's natural curl. On the other hand, if you decide to perm your hair you are chemically straightening it. So humidity, water, sweat...doesn't matter -it'll still be straight. So that's the difference. There's a huge movement of people going back to natural hair and there's pros and cons to both. That's a whole other post and if anyone is interested leave a comment and I'll do another post on the topic! Black hair can be quite complex for those who don't know about it. Lolol. End lesson :)

***Now I will say that last summer I got a similar cut...perhaps not quite as short in the back and sides...and I did like it then. But because my hair was natural when I got the cut - it was harder to maintain. Sure, when it was styled it looked good. But if I went outside and it was too hot it didn't last right for too long, it just poufed up and the shape...the style didn't look like I knew it could. I had to be really careful about getting it wet because I didn't want it to 'fro up. In the end, I knew this cut would work better for me if I permed my hair. I don't have that problem now. It lays flat where I want it to and still has body because my hair is SUPER thick. I can run my WET hands through my hair and not have to worry lol. Yes, that sounds like a small thing but it's something I'm still getting used to.


Danielle Moss said...

I LOVE IT! Did you see that I just cut ALL my hair off last week!? And I move to Chicago in a few weeks. This is a year of change!


###### said...

i know the pain and happiness. mine is permed...yes but barely..the curls dont leave. its weird tht my hair remains curly with a perm..my daughter is natural and i love it. i had to invest in a chi so that i could do her hair..but it looks like a perm when i do and she is happy...love your cut...you go girl.

Kyla Roma said...

It looks amazing! Love the new look!!
And I'm trying to remember that I'm not my hair, but my stylist messed up the whole front of it and right now it's hard to remember. I'm working on it though!

Rebecca said...

LOVE it. I just did the same thing, only with color, not perming. In the blink of an eye, I decided to color my hair, and the next day I cut it all off! Something must be in the air

Fatin Azreen said...


You are so inspirational. I was thinking of doing the same thing too; perm my hair. Yeah, you know what I still think you're DIVA no matter what hairstyle you're in. Cheers!

Fatin A.

Kay* said...

@Danielle - I did see your new cut! It looks like we are on the same page :)

@Tamstyles - hey girl :) i know what you mean about the perm but it still being kinda curly. i would have love to have expanded on my mini hair lesson because with our hair, as you know, the various textures makes nothing certain...but that paragraph was getting too long :) your curls and your hair are gorge any way! and yes, i have a FHI iron and a blow dryer that rivals anything they have in a salon. my hair is SUPER thick so as a natural (wow, can't believe i'm not anymore) i needed both things to get my hair straight and when done by my stylist - no one would believe i was a natural! yeah girl...lol

@kyla - thanks! i know it's hard because as women i feel like our hair is such a huge part of how we feel about ourselves...and it's totally understandable to be upset when someone messes it up! but i think at the end of the day just remember that we're not our hair is important. it's something i'm still coming to grips with as a newly permed girl!

@Rebecca - would love to see! congrats on your change :)

@Fatin - Aww! Thank you :) I'm really not trying to be but if anyone reads my blog, even one person, and gets inspired or motivated to do something then that makes me happy :). In the black community we know what a big issue this whole perm vs natural thing is...so for the longest time while i've kinda had a thought to perm my hair i felt like...i would be going the opposite way of what most people seem to be doing now. There's this whole argument of 'embracing who you are' and what God gave you and your hair in it's natural state as it came out of your head. And this....thing that if you wear a perm you're not proud of who you are or you're trying to conform to a white standard of beauty. Really, when I made the decision i just thought - I need a change. This will work for me and what I want now. It doesn't make me less black now that my hair is chemically straight or less proud of who I am. I AM NOT MY HAIR lol. So if someone thinks that I'm less of a proud black woman because i chose to perm my hair - that's their problem and not mine! :)

Jason Hudson Dot Com said...

Looks good!
This is the most I've ever seen of your face!

Oh, and please never say "creamy crack" again. That term sounds excessively gross. Haha.

Anonymous said...

Wow, your post is a lot like mine!!! Yay, for short hair cuts. Girl I am all for it. you look super cute!!!

and you are right, short hair is spunkier. ;)

Sing of Singature Style said...

I say do what makes you feel good, period end of story. I've had it all, from weaves to natural. Who cares. You have to live with you and look at the mirror every morning, so do what makes you happy. Congrats on the new style, it's cute. Rock on sis.

Jessica O'Brien said...

lookin' goooood! i love the cut on you and think you'll be able to mix it up so much and wear it in so many ways.

we're so on the same page lately... change is occurring all around me and i have no control and it is driving. me. nuts. like officially nuts i'd say.

i'm working on a lot of home projects. rolling up my sleeves and reorganizing. it's a good change. again, one i can control ;)

DaVida Chanel said...

First off, OMG you are too cute chile!!!! I LOVE your eyes - thanks for letting us see you!!!
Second, the cut is dope! I love it. I get one-two relaxers a year and have really coarse hair so I know what you mean about having to relax your hair to go that short. This is a good look! Very versatile
Third, I'm sooooo happy you are going to go to India. I can not wait to read your adventure!!!

Kay* said...

@jason - thanks! i thought the same thing when i was putting up the pics..i'm showing my face! lol. yeah. oh and i'll try not to use the CC again LMAO.

@sunny - i was actually just over on your blog reading your hair post :) you have to do a product post, okay?!?

@sing - i agree. 100% thank you :)

@jessica - thanks! i purposely left the top long so i have some options. change is good :) i hope you do a post on some of the changes you're doing too! (and home projects are always good)

@davida - thank you!!! (i have some big eyes lol) i realize i've never fully shown my face on my blog :) it's nice to see the person behind the blog :)

ephemerette said...

You look great - well done for taking the leap!

Jessica (Bayjb) said...

I love the haircut. I think you're really awesome to make that change because I am so NOT adventurous with mine. I adjust it a little here and there but cannot make a massive change for some reason!

ceecee said...

We have (almost) the same haircut! I think my haircut is like what you had last summer. I went from 10" weaves to a short hair cut. It has been all kinds of freeing!

Your haircut looks really good!

Elizabeth said...

I think your hair looks fantastic! Very chic!

hairtopic said...

Perms curl hair and relaxers straighten hair, which is something most people fail to realize.It gets to be a bit frustrating hearing black people use the word perm instead of relax.

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